Enough Of The Scary Clarity

I have studied Zen
for about forty years
and have found out
that it teaches
the wrong thing
for me,
so I've had it
with the awareness warfare
and the scary clarity
and the cold shower
that shocks the monkey mind
and the sharp tongues,
what I am into
is sitting on a cloud,
no, in a cloud,
and I'm tired
of the bright sunshine
that blinds me
and gives me sunburn,
I want some shade,
I want a fog,
and I am in one
and it makes me happier,
so I don't want
to see things clearly,
I am just going to daydream,
sit around and think
and I won't kick you off
of my cloud,
if you care to join me.

Chemistry

I woke up
today
and was happy
and filled with love
and peace,
and I knew
that my chemistry
had changed
from the day before
when I was
so bummed out,
so I wish
that I knew
a way
to control
my body/mind's chemistry,
with some sort of yoga
or zen
or chi kung thing
or something like that,
but I don't know
of anything
that will do it
and I've tried
many things,
so I guess
I'm at the mercy
of my chemistry,
but that's ok,
I'll survive,
for awhile.

I Live In A Haunted House

This house
that I live in,
which is home
to me,
is very much
haunted
by many ghosts,
who I see
with my internal/external vision
and who
are not too malicious,
since most of them
are sex ghosts,
and a few of them
are like Casper
the friendly ghost,
but there is one
in the guest room
who I have gathered
is some sort
of daughter of the Devil,
who gets held there
by the other ghosts,
and when I go
in that room,
she flies up
to the ceiling
and poops
all over me.

Today

This morning,
I woke up
to a spiritual war
with Mara
or somebody
or other,
and it bummed
me out,
so I decided,
enough
with my spiritual junk,
and to sit around
and comtemplate matters,
and so I decided
that spiritual junk
is not going
to cure
a busted brain
like I have,
and instead,
it will probably make
matters worse,
so I'm still
doing a little bit
just for insurance,
but have thought
about it,
and figure
to say
screw it.