So I was in town
sitting on a black metal bench
which encircled a tree
and I was
drinking a cup
of coffee,
when I spied
two beautiful young
sexy model-type girls
wearing tight dresses
and high heels
walking toward me,
so I thought, "Yow!"
and when they got close
to where I was sitting,
I noticed why they looked
like model-type girls
and it was because
they were models
out on a photoshoot,
so a man
with an amazing camera
had them pose
alongside of a wall
right near me
and I watched
as sexy beautiful
commercial art
was being made.
I have been wanting
to buy a native american flute
because I have been hearing
what sounds like
native american's voices
in my head,
so I drove
to a little town
around here
and listened to
my head,
and some voice
was telling me
about the impending doom
for the american white man,
for what he has done
to the native americans,
the african americans,
the hispanics, the japanese
and so on,
and when I got
to the shop,
I asked about
flutes
and found
the perfect one,
so that I could play it
so that nobody gets hurt,
since I also
am an american white man,
so when I got home
I played
and the voice kept talking,
so I thought,
"You know... I smell a delusion.
Maybe this voice
is some drunk neighbor...
or maybe I'm thinking
to myself... or maybe
I'm daydreaming"
so I felt much better.
I've gotten bad advice
from everywhere
for my whole life,
because the world
sells the idea
that if you want
to find
the good feeling
you've got to go
to somebody
out there
who can tell you
how to get the good feeling,
so I went
to music school
and to religion
and to exercise gurus
and you wouldn't belive
how many people
I have listened to
for their answer
and advice,
and I found out
that everybody
is and was wrong
because the only person
who knows what is right
for me
is me.
I found out
that I was circumsized
when I was forty,
so that knowledge
took a long time
like the way
that the child
who I was
went indoors
to the mind field
and talked
to himself
that was not
like he was
in the world
that people think
like buttons
being pushed
by Zen guys
who he sat by
in the industrial job
that girls sweat at
in their pants
like us men are
after dinner.
So I was sitting
on the couch
figuring out
the mysteries
of the universe,
and I smoked
a last cigarette
which didn't kill me
and went upstairs
to roll some more
and bowed to Kuan Yin.
So I decided
that maybe
the mysteries
of the universe
were a bit much
to stay with
and so
I took a pill
quite awhile ago
and walked down
the stairs
but later
I came up here
and turned on
the computer.
This is a perfect expression
of nothing,
just as the blank screen
before it appeared
is a perfect expression
of nothing,
and just as I am
a perfect expression
of nothing,
so the game goes
like this -
that the creative exercise
gets me up
and high
like a sense pleasure,
but then I get busted
by its lack of response
and the fact
that this poetry
is nothing,
and the world's view
is that poetry is
Really Something,
and the response
is a drag,
but the spirtual view
is that the poetry
is something like mischief
and the response
is just what I deserve.
The generation
before me
said cool,
my generation
said cool,
and I found out
that the younger generation
says cool,
also Buddha
suggested cool,
so I say
be cool,
because cool heads
prevail,
and we all know
that we don't particularly like
uncool people,
but we should
be cool with them,
because cool heads
prevail,
so you don't even have
to be cool
because you probably
already are.
So I was sitting
on the sofa
in the family room,
and I had a breakthrough
about a severe delusion
that I had
about what is known
as the Antichrist,
and this delusion
I shared
with the lady
in Texas
who was insane
with it,
so she did in
her kids
in order
to save them
from her,
and this delusion
is that we thought
that we were
the Antichrist,
because of strange shit
like the number 666
appearing on our heads
and stuff like that
in our minds,
so I had been suffering
with this thing
since college days
and I'm now sixty
and thank God
I didn't kill anybody,
but I realized
that this delusion
about the Apocalypse
is easy to get,
because I have been
frightened of it,
no, terrified of it,
since I was a kid
growing up
with the bomb,
so the thing is
that in my subconscious mind,
I thought,
"Well, if the Apocalypse
is going to happen,
almost all of us
are going to be murdered
by God,
so, since I don't want
that to happen,
I better become
a devil
like the Antichrist
in order to stop it
from happening"
but, I was a good spiritual person
like the lady in Texas,
so what I got
was this awful delusion
about being the Antichrist,
which I obviously
was not
and neither was she,
so after that revelation,
it was off to court
for Judgement Morning,
in the mind,
which is usually
done by G. Mennen Williams,
otherwise known
as "Soapy"
but this time
it was presided over
by "God"
so as court began
I was a bit upset,
so "God" said
"Don't worry.
I'm not going to blow
everybody up.
I love everybody."
so I realized
that God was actually
a nice guy,
and wasn't the awful thing
which my subconscious mind
had dreamed up,
so all is well
and the apocalypse
has been called off.
