Girly Men And Manly Women

I grew up
as a wimpy child,
who had a strong feminine side
and a strong masculine side,
so I was
a girly kid,
and girly boys
get harrassed
by the macho boys,
and the manly girls
get in trouble, too,
but I found out
that after years
of study,
that us girly men
and manly women
have got it right,
and that the macho dudes
and the sexy babes
are out of balance,
so they are the ones
who have gotten it wrong,
so now I am
a happy feng he,
a balance of male and female,
but the big Buddha joke
is that everyone is fine,
because in the final analysis,
we are all something
which you could call
"emptiness".

I Have This Interest In Being Everything

So I got
this interest
in having big lips,
since I have
such thin lips,
so I opened my mouth
and relaxed my mouth,
but I'm not interested
in using Botox,
so I have
this interest
in thinking
that I am a man
with a vagina
and that I am a woman
with a penis,
so I picked up
my rattle
in my left hand
and became
those two people
in the mind,
so I have
this interest
in being everything,
like a me
as a squirrel
walking up
the stairs.

Random Thoughts

So I once slept
with a lesbian
but we just slept,
and art is done
for no reason
other than art,
and Zen meditation
backfires on me
all the time,
and I chant
a bunch of vowel sounds
while holding crystals,
and a Tibetan bell
is on the floor
which hasn't been rung lately,
and my tea
is now cold
since it's meant to be,
and the computer
is sometimes annoying
because it always seems
the same,
and I don't watch TV
because I unplugged
the cable,
and music can bother
someone who thinks
that it talks to them.

Enough Of The Scary Clarity

I have studied Zen
for about forty years
and have found out
that it teaches
the wrong thing
for me,
so I've had it
with the awareness warfare
and the scary clarity
and the cold shower
that shocks the monkey mind
and the sharp tongues,
what I am into
is sitting on a cloud,
no, in a cloud,
and I'm tired
of the bright sunshine
that blinds me
and gives me sunburn,
I want some shade,
I want a fog,
and I am in one
and it makes me happier,
so I don't want
to see things clearly,
I am just going to daydream,
sit around and think
and I won't kick you off
of my cloud,
if you care to join me.

Chemistry

I woke up
today
and was happy
and filled with love
and peace,
and I knew
that my chemistry
had changed
from the day before
when I was
so bummed out,
so I wish
that I knew
a way
to control
my body/mind's chemistry,
with some sort of yoga
or zen
or chi kung thing
or something like that,
but I don't know
of anything
that will do it
and I've tried
many things,
so I guess
I'm at the mercy
of my chemistry,
but that's ok,
I'll survive,
for awhile.

I Live In A Haunted House

This house
that I live in,
which is home
to me,
is very much
haunted
by many ghosts,
who I see
with my internal/external vision
and who
are not too malicious,
since most of them
are sex ghosts,
and a few of them
are like Casper
the friendly ghost,
but there is one
in the guest room
who I have gathered
is some sort
of daughter of the Devil,
who gets held there
by the other ghosts,
and when I go
in that room,
she flies up
to the ceiling
and poops
all over me.

Today

This morning,
I woke up
to a spiritual war
with Mara
or somebody
or other,
and it bummed
me out,
so I decided,
enough
with my spiritual junk,
and to sit around
and comtemplate matters,
and so I decided
that spiritual junk
is not going
to cure
a busted brain
like I have,
and instead,
it will probably make
matters worse,
so I'm still
doing a little bit
just for insurance,
but have thought
about it,
and figure
to say
screw it.