Mystic Or Nut?

So, I am a Zen Buddhist
who also practices
yoga, chi kung and
some sort of shamanism,
but I am also
a mental patient
who takes medicine,
but I was thinking tonight,
"What is this medicine,
but some sort
of drug
that a shaman
would take?",
so I wondered
what my authentic self is,
a nut or a mystic,
and I live
in some dumb suburb
in Michigan, USA,
so how can I be
some sort of mystic,
but you know,
I can't really
figure it out,
but I know
that the two
are stuck together,
so I'm a mystic-nut.